Episode Number: 1000
Episode Guest: Joey Diaz and Tom Segura
Original Airdate: August 18, 2017
Episode Sponsors: Brigsby Bear, Lyft, (Joe stops reading ads and asks Jamie to play the Jocko Willink “Good” video); Onnit
Guest Bio: Joey “CoCo” Diaz is a Cuban-American stand-up comedian and actor. Joey also hosts his own podcast called The Church of What’s Happening Now. Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian and hosts his own podcast with his wife Christina Pazsitzky called Your Mom’s House.
Topics Discussed: Joey is scared of earthquakes; Joey’s cats can sense earthquakes; Tom talks about experiencing his first earthquake; Joe talks about earthquakes he’s been through; Northridge earthquake; where to go when the shit hits the fan; moving to Colorado; Tom talks about tropical storms; Joe talks about being in a rain storm; (they watch a video of a storm); north Hollywood shootout talk; there are more guns than people in the US; playing handball in prison; Catch Me If You Can movie; Americans in South America; paying taxes; student loans; Joey didn’t pay taxes for over a decade; Wesley Snipes didn’t pay his taxes; Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino didn’t pay his taxes; we should be able to say where our tax dollars go; Obama conducted himself as the best president ever; Trump talk; deception; selling things at Comic-Con and taking home garbage bags full of cash; having a code of ethics; Joe says Joey has become more relaxed as he’s become more successful; Joey wanted to do something with his life; An Officer and a Gentleman movie; Grudge Match movie; talk about Tom’s podcast; Joey shit outside and someone thought it was from a bear; Joey shit in someone’s yard and they ran over it with their car; you have to pour water on your shit in prison; Joe tells a story about Joey shitting in Las Vegas; Redban once put ketchup on one of Joey’s shits; the smell of shit; taking a shit followed by diarrhea; more Joey shit stories; going to the bathroom at a girl’s house and realizing she’s taken a shit; shitting/diarrhea at a girl’s house; sensitivity of the ass; why are hot farts bad; (1:00:00) Joey tells a story about farting on a bus; Joe’s blog about Joey’s farts; Joey tells a story about farting in someone’s face; more fart talk; Tom talks about almost being hospitalized from laughing at a Joey Diaz story; Joey tells the aforementioned story about a guy getting his dick sucked at a comedy show; Boomerang movie; Joey tells another blowjob story; Italian language and its rhythm; adjusting to another country’s language; Americans being seen as assholes when abroad; freedom fries; people are nice if you’re nice; you don’t know what someone’s going through; customer service talk; security guards; “Big” John McCarthy; doing 1000 podcasts; Joe talks about the early days of the podcast; Joey didn’t like podcasts in the early days; Joey realized the power of the internet and social media because of Dane Cook; Joey talks about seeing someone who recognized him; people give Tom and Joey things to give to Joe; throwing out old shit; The Real Man book; No Quarter: The Three Lives of Jimmy Page book; Led Zeppelin shark story; the lack of privacy today and advancement of technology; phones are a part of us; Joey talks about his iPad; Evernote; WriteRoom; the internet is good in small doses; Joe says Joey should climb in an isolation tank; Joey talks about his anxiety; Barcelona attacks; staring at our phones instead of enjoying life with our children; private schools in California charge $30,000 per year; Joey says he was a “faggy kid”; Randy Couture’s scarfs; Ryan Couture; Thai lineament; psychology and healing; placebo effect; Wim Hof talk; Joe talks about breathing exercises he does; Choke documentary; Rickson Gracie breathing video; Ginastica Natural; (2:00:00) more Rickson Gracie talk; controlling your breath; Joey talks about doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu; Bas Rutten’s O2 Trainer; doing yoga; Scott Sonnon; The Iron Sheik swinging Persian clubs; Ric Flair health problems; pro wrestler health issues; Geto Boys “Mind Playing Tricks on Me” song; Geto Boys “We Can’t Be Stopped” album; Paul Wall; they talk about getting grills; gold teeth; Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan; waiting in lines for a restaurant; Franklin Barbecue; Pink’s hot dogs; New York hot dogs; Dodger Dogs; Joey talks about how hot dogs are made; grinding up people for meat meant for human consumption; Joey talks about the mafia; you don’t want to mess with Trump; Trump’s Charlottesville statement; the pressure of being president; the economy ebbs and flows; Charlottesville and Tiki torches; don’t talk about religion or politics; Joey rants about the prices of things; where does our tax money go; families can’t afford to go to a Dodger game; what’s going on with police officers today; being a police officer is difficult; we need cops; more ranting about cops; laws about filming police officers; more talk about police officers; Joey talks again about being arrested; “Argentinian Man Harasses LA Street Food Vendor, Flipping Over His Cart” article; Joey says drug cartels run food carts; (Joe leaves to piss); Star Maps movie; Joe says doing a podcast has changed him as a person; pretentious weed people; Joey’s podcast has changed him and keeps him in check; (3:00:00) (they pour a drink together); crazy white people; white people with ice cubes; guys with cigars; The Sopranos TV show; The Getaway movie; Steve McQueen; Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw argument from The Getaway video; The Longest Yard movie; Burt Reynolds throws a woman on the ground from The Longest Yard video; police cars; Dodge Demon; Dubai is ballin’; indoor skiing in Dubai; indoor surfing in Dubai; Floyd Mayweather, Jr.’s cars; Mayweather vs. Conor McGregor talk; Joe says he’s a sucker for fights; Muhammad Ali vs. Chuck Wepner; Michael Jordan talk; Julius Erving top 10 highlights video; Michael Jordan top 10 dunks video; Clyde Drexler dunks video; Vince Carter dunks video; Roy Jones, Jr. talk; Jay Glazer’s Unbreakable gym; why are people better athletes today; white racists get DNA tests, find out they have African ancestry; X Alfonso; Joe likes music where he can’t understand the lyrics so he can focus on the music; Joey took a DNA test; Tom talks about his family’s dark past; there are Diaz people everywhere; people don’t think Tom is Hispanic or realize he can speak and understand Spanish; Joey doing comedy in both English and Spanish; more talk about speaking Spanish; Jim Morrison getting arrested for pretending to masturbate; more talk about pretending to jerk off; Joe thanks everyone who has ever been on the show and those of us who listen to it.
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TV Shows Mentioned
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Podcast Video: Below is a video of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode #1000 available for streaming via YouTube.
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