The Joe Rogan Experience Episode 895 with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer

Episode Number: 895
Episode Guest: Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer
Original Airdate: January 3, 2017
Episode Sponsors: Blue Apron, History’s SIXOnnit, Caveman Coffee

Guest Bio: Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian and hosts his own podcast with his wife Christina Pazsitzky called Your Mom’s House. Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor, and reality television host. Check out his book Life of the Party on Amazon and his podcast The Bertcast on Stitcher and iTunes.

Topics Discussed: Tom is just under 6′ tall; Bert is 6′ tall; Bert weighs in at 220 lbs.; Tom weighs in at 216 lbs.; Tom sat in a sauna to cut water weight; Tom drank only distilled water because it’s easier to sweat out; (guys eat pizza); Tom talks about how he feels; stranded people who drink sea water; talk about their heights and weights and what is considered obese; muscle burns fat; Bert talks about doing TV; bad places to do comedy; (the guys start drinking); writing people/places off; Bert is a pushover; mean people; social media trolls; Skip Bayless accidentally commenting about himself on Facebook; Ronda Rousey memes; how Conor bounced back from losing; Eddie Bravo’s Jiu Jitsu knowledge; Joe says Demetrious Johnson is the best fighter ever; mainstream media’s coverage of UFC; Lena Dunham wishes she had an abortion; saying offensive things to remain in the media; actors being replaced on TV shows; actor replaced on Bewitched; Tom is competitive; fighters who don’t make weight; UFC weigh-in talk; boxing and weigh-ins; (the guys start smoking weed); (1:00:00) flying in fighter jets; G force training video; humans are frail; Bert talks about skiing down a tall mountain and crashing; feeling vulnerable; Uber drivers; Yakov Smirnoff; the guys talk shit about Ari Shaffir again; Joe says he’s going to pay for Tom and Bert’s vacation; how to climb out of deep snow; Bert’s had three friends die snowboarding; Joe was 45 when he learned to ski; finding Jesus; why can you get a massage but not jerked off; female hysteria; male prostitutes; redhead discrimination; Gigolos TV show; successful people; mocking people who fail; Kevin Hart talk; rage; apologizing; Bert talks about an Uber driver; talk about how much they’ve changed physically since losing weight; inspiring people to lose weight; (Joe plays audio of Ari talking about the weight loss challenge); talk about Ari and his career; malaria talk; Bert’s The Ballad of Big Tommy Buns song; esoteric definition; Bert talks about his career and wanting to be free; how Ari lives his life; putting your phone down; Bert’s beard; Bert’s fanny pack; (2:00:00) eating junk food and drinking alcohol again; Dave Chappelle; being yourself; Tom’s sitcom; Bert gushes about Tom; not giving a fuck; talk about Russell Peters’ stupid girlfriend; Bert talks about going in a submarine; underwater cities; visualizing jokes; debate about shaving Bert’s beard; Bert bet a 10-year-old and cut his hair off; Puerto Rican leopard spot beardPrince’s beard; Hot Ones show; hot food; Joe talks about deer and their antlers; talk about going hunting; Joey Diaz talk; appreciating water; Joe says there should be a competition TV show with Bert and Tom; talk about doing TV shows compared to stand-up; naming tours; Eddie Griffin; more Dave Chappelle talk; Daniel Tosh talk; story about Tosh kicking a guy out of a comedy show; more Tosh talk; (Tom starts to shave Bert’s beard); (lots of giggling as Tom shaves Bert’s beard like Prince’s); Kingpin movie; (3:00:00) (Tom shaves Bert’s beard into a mustache); talking about what competition to do next; fat shaming; feeling uncomfortable is motivation; how Bert feels now; Zevia soda pop; Tom drank a lot of water and C2O coconut water; Harmless Harvest coconut water; Joe talks about shaving his head; shaving; do they feel better now that it’s over; Joe suggests they train Jiu Jitsu for a few months, then compete; Get Shorty movie; Joe talks about doing a movie companion podcast; Bert never saw the movie (Van Wilder) that was based on his life; Bill Burr talk; talk about The Comedy Store and comedians; comedy now vs. then; Tom used to imitate Bill Burr; Tom talks about bombing; Mormons; Tom talks about overdosing on drugs and alcohol and waking up in the hospital; Bert loves to drink; more talk about training BJJ for a competition; more talk about doing a competition show; more talk about their weight loss; waffles; Bert talks about eating caviar at a party; more talk about doing another competition; surfing; Kelly Slater’s wave pool; more talk about their weight loss.

My Thoughts: Drinking, smoking weed, and lots of giggling. You’ll probably want to watch this one if you want to see the beard shaving. It was kind of a chore to get through, to be honest. One podcast would have sufficed. Why did they need to weigh in two days in a row?

Podcast Video: Below is a video of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode #895 available for streaming via YouTube.

Podcast Audio: Audio for this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is available through iTunes, Stitcher, or you can download the MP3 directly to add it to the audio player of your choice.

The Joe Rogan Experience Episode 894 with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer

Episode Number: 894
Episode Guest: Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer
Original Airdate: January 2, 2017
Episode Sponsors: LegalZoom, Stamps.com, Onnit, Caveman Coffee

Guest Bio: Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian and hosts his own podcast with his wife Christina Pazsitzky called Your Mom’s House. Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor, and reality television host. Check out his book Life of the Party on Amazon and his podcast The Bertcast on Stitcher and iTunes.

Topics Discussed: Bert’s weight; how and why the weight loss challenge started; Bert and Doug Benson’s podcast fight; Bert talks about his Machine story AGAIN; talk about Tom bullying Bert about his weight; how Ari Shaffir got involved in the weight loss challenge; Ari’s podcast with Henry Rollins; talk about making videos to troll each other; Bert talks about exercising; Tom doesn’t think Bert is disciplined; fat shaming; The Rock is Bert’s inspiration; Joey Diaz gave Bert’s dad edibles; Tom weighed 267 lbs. at his heaviest; Bert doing stand-up without a shirt on; Bert weighed 256 lbs.; what the winner(s) of the challenge will get; smart BMI; Bert weighs in at 221 lbs.; Tom weighs in at 219 lbs.; what Bert eats; Cris Cyborg’s weight cutting crying video inspired Bert; what will happen tomorrow; Bert’s exercising; barbecuing talk; pellet grills; why do men like barbecuing; (Bert calls Ari); (1:00:00) Joe tells Ari that he has to pay for them to go on a trip; how the winner will be determined; Joe is considered obese based on his BMI number; Ari got mad that Bert mortgaged his house; Joe says Ari has lots of money but doesn’t spend it; Joe talks about not having to worry about money anymore; they make fun of how Ari talks; more smart BMI talk; Joe is amazed by their weight loss; Bert wants to lose more weight; talk about why Bert takes his shirt off on stage; how has their weight loss affected their stand-up comedy; Bert thinks he was pre-diabetic; Tom talks about struggling to cut sugar out of his diet; talk about the funny videos Tom posts; Ari’s shit-talking about their weight; Tom’s beard; being told you won’t be funny if you lose weight; more beard talk; Joe grew a big beard after Evan Tanner passed away; Bert’s beard scared kids in a foreign country; what food and alcohol they want after they weigh in tomorrow; strange dreams they had; drinking coffee; getting high and playing sports/doing Jiu Jitsu; Ronda Rousey’s loss to Amanda Nunes at UFC 207; head injury stories; Mike Pyle vs. Alex Garcia knockout; Doug Stanhope’s girlfriend fell and hit her head; Doug Stanhope wants to buy a cave; Ari Shaffir is frugal; people pitch ideas to Joe for him to invest in; Tom and Bert want to move to Colorado; what they will do for the rest of the day; what they will do after this is over; Joe says they should weigh in every month for the rest of the year; not weightlifting to keep weight off; Kegenix ketosis drink mix; comparing their personalities; (2:00:00) Bert shaved Tom’s body video; Tom put on all his weight since he moved to Los Angeles; Tom wants to lose 15-20 more lbs.; Bert wants to lose 6 more lbs.; Bert sent Tom cookies; people think they’re different from everyone else; girls raised as if they’re “princesses”; Cameron Hanes talk; Tom ran a marathon and wasn’t prepared for it; Bert talks about running a 5K at a brewery while drunk; drinking beers post-workout; Bert doesn’t act drunk when he’s wasted; being drunk on stage; Bert drinks at least three days per week; Joe needs to be exhausted and busy to be happy; writing material; preparing for a new special.

My Thoughts: Mostly talk about the weight loss contest, dieting, eating, drinking, and how they have been fucking with each other.

Podcast Video: Below is a video of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode #894 available for streaming via YouTube.

Podcast Audio: Audio for this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is available through iTunes, Stitcher, or you can download the MP3 directly to add it to the audio player of your choice.