The Joe Rogan Experience Episode 941 with Greg Fitzsimmons

Episode Number: 941
Episode Guest: Greg Fitzsimmons
Original Airdate: April 4, 2017
Episode Sponsors: Stamps.com, Dollar Shave Club, Onnit, Caveman Coffee

Guest Bio: Greg Fitzsimmons is a writer and stand-up comedian. He also hosts his own podcast FitzDog Radio available on iTunes.

Topics Discussed: They’ve been friends for 28 years; when and why Joe got into stand-up comedy; Joe talks about his friend who was a skier and had 20+ knee surgeries; Joe talks about his old martial arts friends; managing your energy; Joe’s obsessions; they’re lucky they get to be comics; doing 15 minute sets; watching other comedians; being a young comedian and working with an established comedian; more talk about being young and starting comedy; Greg talks about an old apartment he lived in that was connected to the mafia; Joe’s grandma was running numbers; Joe talks about living with his grandparents in New Jersey; blockbusting; Joe’s sick grandma; Joe’s grandpa built parts for the nuclear bomb; Oppenheimer quotes the Bhagavad Gita after the first nuclear explosion video; Robert Oppenheimer; Patton Oswalt talk; Greg’s in a joke-writing slump; Richard Jeni’s “A Big Steaming Pile of Me” comedy special; more Richard Jeni talk; Kevin Meaney talk; comedians getting stuck and doing bits for too long; Joey Diaz talk; more Kevin Meaney talk; Louis CK talk; Greg talks about working on Pete Holmes’ new show Crashing; The Big Bang Theory without a laugh track; Joe talks about working on NewsRadio; using a laugh track at a comedy club; jokes about rape; laughing is contagious; being funny in real life compared to a comedy club; competing for laughs; competing for girls; Greg tells a story about a friend who knocked him down while skating to impress a girl he liked; Greg beat a girl up on Halloween; a girl punched Joe on the bus when he was a teenager; wrestling in school; Joe talks about doing wrestling as a teenager; Joe talks about cutting weight for martial arts; mental toughness of wrestlers; Greg got slapped by a gay guy in eighth grade; Greg got punched in the face by a homeless guy; Greg was a wiseass; (1:00:00) Joe’s friend would start fights with people for no reason; Joe’s dog got hit by a car and died in his house; everyone was a latchkey kid when they were growing up; being worried about the future as a teenager; Joe went to university because he felt like a loser; Joe almost got kicked out of U Mass for not paying attention; Joe talks about a teacher calling him out on not working hard enough; kids today have a lot of school work; Italian horns; more talk about the work load for kids; there should be four-day work weeks; selling insurance; a school taking out insurance policies on the kids; fucking during university; sex is dirty and smells; Greg would never wash his sheets; Ari Shaffir never changed his sheets for six months; Ari has been off the grid and disappeared for three months; Joe talks about Henry Rollins; Ari’s Skeptic Tank podcast “Not All Those Who Wander are Lost” with Henry Rollins; more Ari talk; Joe talks about taking Ari on tour with him for the first time; Duncan Trussell has moved to New York; (Greg plugs his dates); comedy clubs in New York; someone pulled a gun on a comic when he was on stage; Murder Machine book about Roy DeMeo; My Favorite Murder podcast; why are humans fascinated with murder; guy in wingsuit slams into bridge and dies video; Hold My Beer on Twitter; watching beheading videos; Russians hanging off buildings; Alex Honnold; Greg used to hang off balconies; guy holds girl over edge of building video; Joe tells a story about Alex Honnold forgetting hand chalk; Greg wants to jump out of a plane; Redban’s dad’s friend died skydiving; roller coasters; starting to have sex as a teenager; Joe was scared of statutory rape because he was 18 and banging a 17-year-old; Greg still jerks off to girls in his high school yearbook; jerking off to potentially underage girls; Joe talks about the rules of shooting a deer; porn where the women act like teenagers; girls are fully grown at 15; more talk about underage girls; Joe banged a 15-year-old when he was 16; Joe’s ears rang after his first blowjob; Joe talks about being a horny teenager and fucking constantly; abortions and birth control; birth control pills affect a woman’s taste in men; Greg talks about smelling a woman at the gym; Persian women; Greg talks more about smelling a woman and realizing the smell was coming from a man; Marc Maron wears patchouli; Joe talks about jerking off as a teenager; trying to get laid late at night; Greg talks about staying up late trying to have sex and having to get up and work; naps; summer jobs; (2:00:00) Joe talks again about working construction; Joe talks about a drunk guy on a construction site; Greg talks about working at a club during the summer; Greg used to breakdance at clubs; fleas; Joe talks about fucking a girl and she was pushing off the ceiling with her feet; Greg talks about fucking a girl who was playing with her clit; mosquitoes and crane flies/mosquito eaters; Greg talks about the building of the Panama Canal; Joe says that malaria has killed half the people ever (it hasn’t); Justin Wren has had malaria three times; more malaria talk; Ebola; Zika; all people who live in the jungle have something; toxoplasmosisbacteria outnumbers human cells in the body; probiotics; Joe drinks GT kombucha; Joe used to make his own kombucha and explains the process to Greg; kimchi and sauerkraut; Joe talks about his diet and what he eats; all food has been modified; fruit is not the same as it used to be; hobo dicks; orange juice makes cum taste better; what a drug addict’s loads taste like; Tom Sizemore’s porn; Joe talks about working on a TV show with Rick James and Tom Sizemore; Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew; sending someone to rehab; killing a loved one for money; estate tax; Warren Buffett; Blackwater founder has ties to Trump and Russia; royal families in the Middle East; Dubai construction timelapse; the sex-obsessed Sultan of Brunei; Melania Trump’s ring; Greg says Trump met Melania on “Fuck Island”; old billionaires in robotic exoskeletons fucking girls on Fuck Island; Kim Jong Un executed army minister with mortar round.

My Thoughts: Lots of talk about comedy and the old days. Murder. Underage girls. Sex. Bugs. Diseases. Bacteria. Food…and lots more. Joe says this is one of his best, most fun podcasts ever. I’ll admit “old billionaires in robotic exoskeletons fucking girls on Fuck Island” has to be my favorite podcast note.

Podcast Video: Below is a video of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode #941 available for streaming via YouTube.

Podcast Audio: Audio for this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is available through iTunes, Stitcher, or you can download the MP3 directly to add it to the audio player of your choice.